So teach us to number our days, that we may present to you a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption, so that just as it is written, let him who boasts, boast in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:30-31
My, how things change. One strategy I employ to quench my insatiable appetite to cope with uncertainty, difficulty, and as of right now, exhaustion in life is to think, "just give it a week", or "wonder what this will be like in a year from now". I have written in the past about remembering as a means to hope in the future. This spiritual coping mechanism is born out of recalling the faithfulness of the Lord as His Spirit so gently leads me. As I look back, I am encouraged beyond words. This exact time last year, I had just learned that God was allowing us to spend more time with our babies. I do remember wondering what our lives might look like a year from then ~ and prayed as Micah would lead, "that the babies would come be with us".
Well, here we are! This is fairly typical day in our household:
Some days, I get up before everyone... some days I don't...
7:30-8:00 am ~ Feed Babies Bottles/Get everyone dressed
9:00 a.m. ~ Feed Babies Cereal/Make sure Big Boys are fed
10:00 a.m. ~ Babies Nap/School time with Big Boys
Somewhere in here babies wake up
12:00 N ~ Feed Babies Bottles
I am supposed to be starting vegies and fruit at lunch... but that hasn't happened yet...
12:30ish ~ Feed Big Boys
After lunch, we have some play time with the babies
2:00 p.m. ~ Babies Nap/School time with Big Boys
4:00 p.m. ~ Bottles (again)
Boys and Mommy are starting to lose their minds... so outside/basement play time or quiet time (whatever the situation demands) happens somewhere in here...
Daddy arrives home and there is a chorus of rejoicing!
5:00 p.m. ~ Feed Babies Fruit, Vegies, and Cereal
I make dinner sometime afterward...
6:30ish ~ Dinner for all over 3 feet tall
Bath time, play time, Daddy time, family time
8:00-8:30 p.m. ~ Feed Babies Bottles and get all the kiddos in bed
*** Please note: In between all these times are the bouts of fussiness, diaper changes, correction, hugs, laughs, smiles, jokes, reading, spills, dancing, people dressing up like superheros, etc.
*** After the kids are in bed, then the race to do all the things necessary for a new day begin (laundry, cleaning up whatever has gotten messed up, dishes, etc.) and usually, Micah and I fall into a parental coma.
Don't misunderstand; this is my dream job. I love this. I love that I can write this kind of schedule down. I remember going through years of infertility and then secondary infertility, never imagining this kind of life for myself. It is a hands-down, ricidulously undeserved, undeniable gift of grace and mercy on a sincerely idolatrous, ungrateful soul. But with deep joy, profound love, and a multitude of mommy ~ child opportunities (as well as husband ~ wife ones:)), there is unending exhaustion. I do find mixtures of sadness and joy knowing that this kind of physical, moving a child from place to place, feeding to feeding, nap to nap will have an end. There will be a day when my big boys have much more freedom and my role in their lives will be more influential than hands-on. There will be a day when my babies will be bigger and saying, "Do it myself, mommy!" And then there will be a new set of unending mothering challenges.
Amid the thousands of breaths that support our day, grace is unending, and love is constant.
Micah and I sometimes look at each other at the end of the day, and he will say, "Babe, God has been so good to help us get through today." This past week in particular, he has been gone a lot. If you have seen the news, you know that he has had multiple opportunities to serve the community around his Chick-fil-a location as well as his employees. I am so thankful for the crew he has to share in his work days. They have proved to be steadfast and full of kindness. I had the pleasure to work with him on Wednesday and can report that what I saw were lines and lines of patient, loving faces. The past few days, he and I have not had our end of the day conversation and I was once again reminded that we are not the ones who hold our family together either as a unit or as individuals.
So, what a difference a year makes! And what a remarkable, enormous difference there is in 6 months! Can you believe that on this day ~ also a Friday ~ our babies were born?
I am happy to report that Isaac is a talkative, smiley boy with strength beyond his age. He has even begun singing, which is a lovely sound. He can push himself backward and loves to do boppy backbends.
Isabella can now roll from her back to her tummy. She is exactly in the center of the growth chart for her actual age! She loves trying to mimic her brother and is happy to squeal.
Eliana is going through an even-tempered stage. This little one loves to eat. She also loves to make herself look like as big a girl as possible.
I am sure that another six months from now, my days will look completely different.