This past week, we learned that our last two embryos from the group of four we originally adopted aren't in the best shape. There are systems by which Embryologists grade embryos. The systems are subjective and vary from clinic to clinic but serve the purpose of deciding which embryos are "competent". Sometimes, incompetent embryos are discarded. Since we firmly believe that all embryos, regardless of their grade, should be given a chance at life, we are glad to know our clinic has reserved that dignity for them. It does cause us to pray for them even more and seek the Lord for His supernatural help for them. There is more to this story, however.
It all started at my last doctor visit. Micah and I spoke with the nurse about adopting a third embryo to transfer. This was even before the news of the condition of our other two. It would be a lone embryo we assumed as there were several families with only one left and donated. We went back and forth for a while, listing the pros and cons. It is so strange, this whole process, weighing statistics, facts, and assumptions verses walking with the God who holds all things together by the word of His power. The God who we call Father who moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. The God who makes the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear, and the dead live again. We left the appointment with the intention to pray about it and let them know our decision sometime before the transfer. Since then, we have prayed a lot and sought wisdom from other friends and family. Really, the question I kept asking myself was, "Can I pray for all of these babies- each one- that they all will live and mean it?" The question is legitimate. It would not be easy for us to care for triplets or more importantly, good for them sharing a limited growing space. The chance of them all surviving is very slim from a historical/statistical standpoint. Again, human understanding ~ All-Powerful Lord. We did decide it would be a wise use of the transfer cycle for us to go ahead with three, praying for each of them to live. I decided to let the office know our intentions the day of our final appointment before the transfer.
Enter our friends Josh and Danae. Josh and Danae are the sister and brother-in-law of my friend, Cara. Shortly after we began our embryo adoption, they were led to pursue the same thing. Danae and I are both scheduled for our embryo transfers within a couple of days of each other; this being our second cycle and their first. They had adopted a group of seven embryos. They had chosen them because they were deemed the "least adoptable" of all the embryos donated at our clinic. Danae sent me a text message last week asking if I'd talked with our clinic about adding another embryo. At this point, I had not. Danae said she got a call from the Nurse Practioner asking to use one of their embryos for a transfer scheduled for another adopting couple who fit our profile. Danae was glad to have another family willing to help give all of hers a chance at life, since seven is a large number to take on given a more conservative approach. It was a concern to she and Josh that there would come a point in time where they might have to decide to relinquish one or more to be adopted. In talking to Danae, it was already like talking to a mom, trying to decide the best for her children even with all the unknowns in front of her. Danae even offered, if the other couple wasn't us, to allow us to transfer another of theirs. She and Josh certainly have those little ones in mind- wanting each one to be cared for. Even after our conversation, I was not convinced the couple the NP was speaking of was us. When Danae called in tears, I was proved completely wrong! The clinic had gotten the news of the condition of our embryos and was working on our behalf to add a third. Unknown to our mutual NP, the solution she provided made Josh and Danae AND Micah and me the parents of these siblings. She had no idea we knew each other. Antie Cara couldn't be happier:) Isn't God amazing!
If you headed to our site to buy a Shirt of Hope, click here. We are still taking orders through March 31. If you are praying for our babies, please add one more to your list!