For The Love of Family and Discipline

Thankfully, Micah was able (thanks to Chick-fil-a!!!) to fly in for a long weekend. We still work, wait, and pray for wisdom and guidance. Our time together was sweet and not a moment taken for granted.We even got to attend the crowning of Miss Wilkes Central together. The winner was... my sister Chelsea!!! I was thankful that a girl with such a beautiful heart through the grace of God in her life won. Congratulations!

There are moments in parenting the boys -and in our present situation, I have more of them:)-that I learn something overwhelming and wonderful about God and the way He is a loving Father to me. Because of His grace, He gives me object lessons as I struggle through being a parent that seeks the best for my children. The boys and I have been sick this week. We have also had snow and have locked ourselves inside for the duration of the storm. Last night, I had big plans for us in spite of our circumstances. We have been working on a puzzle and I had selected some fun reading for us. There are always fun things to do on the Wii and Lego houses and Star Wars ships to build as well. But it was clear very early in the evening that I was going to have to discipline the boys. I knew the best way to train their hearts was to send them to bed without doing all the fun stuff. I gave them chance after chance to redeem themselves, but clearly, they were just going to keep taking advantage of the situation, not heed my warnings, and do what they wanted to do instead of what I had asked. My hesitation was selfish; I wanted us to enjoy the time together. I eventually sent them to bed and the minute the words came out of my mouth, they began bargaining with me promising they would do what I had asked. In our house, we follow the rule that obedience takes place the first time an instruction is given, when you have obeyed all the way, and done so with a happy heart. This was an opportunity for me to be consistent in this rule. They cried… actually wailed… and I cried. I had much better things planned for them this evening but because of their choices, all of us were missing out. If they had only trusted me and obeyed they would have been playing and not crying! As I sat on the sofa, listening to them vocalize their sadness, I immediately wondered about all the times I have been disciplined because of my choices and responded in the same way. Proverbs 12:1 admonishes: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. It is difficult to declare “I love to be disciplined and I do not want to be stupid!”

Obedience is tricky. God first loved me, so I love, obey, and trust that God desires the best for me. I am understanding more and more the dynamics of true obedience in this way as compared to obedience out of guilt, a false sense of righteousness, because I think that in obeying I can get my own way, or trying to pay God back for what He has done for me. When I either don’t obey or my obedience is not out of a heart that loves God and God disciplines me out of love, I many times just feel badly that I didn’t get what I wanted or that something didn’t go as I planned. Even if the consequence is a clear result of my choices, I look for ways to blame God. I have felt that God was sovereignly unresponsive to my cries and glad I was getting what I deserved. As I wept with my boys, I realized very deeply how very wrong I have been. I never thought that He might be enduring with me, hearing my cries, and desiring that the discipline I was receiving would change my heart in the future. He at the same time supplies all I need to continue to have fellowship with Him through Christ and comfort in the midst of anguish through His steadfast love. There is deep love in discipline; far deeper than allowing behavior that will lead ultimately to destruction. I believe I have known these things as truths, but in this particular moment, God allowed me to feel them as I felt for my boys. The writer of Hebrews says it far better than I:

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:5-11

The Wood Between the Worlds

"It was the quietest wood you could possibly imagine. There were no birds, no insects, no animals, and no wind. You could almost feel the trees growing. The pool he had just got out of was not the only pool. There were dozens of others- a pool every few yards as far as his eyes could reach. You could almost feel the trees drinking the water up with their roots. This wood was very much alive. When he tried to describe it afterward Digory always said, 'It was a rich place: as rich as plumcake.' The strangest thing was that, almost before he had looked about him, Digory had half forgotten how he had come there."

~C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

Both in location and in situation, there seem to be several parallels between the place Digory and Polly traveled to which they called "The Wood Between the Worlds" and where the boys and I are right now. Both of us Lewis fans, my mother-in-law and I sat in the kitchen of the home we are staying in and admired the forest out the back doors. I look out the back windows every morning of our "in-between place" and wonder which "pool" our family is going to jump in to and be on our way to our new world.

Can I be honest with you? In the complexities of human experience and eternal truths, there are many times seemingly conflicting ideas. I have never benefited from denying (or trying to) the feelings associated with recognizing the truths. So I ask that as I attempt to speak as truthfully as I can, I ask you to trust that to me the truths are the most important and where I land in light of my feelings. The feelings however are real and a part of the journey as well.

I miss my husband so much! ~ It is refreshing after 12 years in marriage to the same man to ache for his companionship in day to day life. While our present situation is not ideal, it is a gift to be re-acquainted with old feelings of wanting to be with him. ~ I will be so glad when we can have that again and we can be as close to home as we will be this side of eternity. ~ I am so thankful Micah has this opportunity with Chick-fil-a and pray it leads to a permanent position. He has a wonderful opportunity in CA and I am so proud of him and thankful for the way God has bless him in his work. ~ I am thankful for the opportunity for us to really get on the same page when it comes to goals and direction for our family. Not being in the same place has forced us to communicate more about where we are and where we are going. ~ I do not like being by myself at night and the one to have to check the doors, kill all the spiders, etc., etc., etc. ~ I am learning to trust the Lord more with my safety and having to model more earnestly the verses I quote to the boys at night when we all lay down to rest. All the things I know to be true of who God is, His Omnipresence, Omnipotence, His Wisdom, His Goodness- are so comforting and are all that brings me peace.

I am so thankful we have this home to live in right between my parents and his. It is beautiful and comfortable and gives us a place to store our stuff as well. It is a joy to see them so often. The boys have so many people to love on them. It is truly a blessing to have time here, after so many years living in another state, to just travel a few minutes to visit extended family. ~ It is a blessing to be taught daily that we are to hold loosely to the things of this world; even the concept of earthly home. ~ I am having to be a much better time manager here than any other place we have lived due to all the opportunities we have to visit family and friends. I have to be more diligent in putting the convictions of our family into practice more here as well.

I wanted to share a few of my favorite photos from the last three weeks.

The last time we were in "Daddy's Mall" together.

This was the caravan that brought us from PA to NC. We were blessed to have my Dad, Uncle, and Brother to help haul us down the east side of the country.

Travel Day

The NC crew the day before Micah flew out

The 5 Childs Cousins

All the testosterone in my house snuggled together just before bedtime.

I love this one. I snapped it as Micah waved goodbye to the boys and me just before he went through security at the airport. If you were at Charlotte Douglas Airport that day and heard sobs coming from baggage claim, that was probably me:)

I got both boys a haircut soon after we got to NC. Andrew had a much different face during the whole thing. I couldn't resist adding this one of Elijah.

We just celebrated Andrew's 6th birthday this past Tuesday. What a precious gift he is. He asked for Monkey Bread for his birthday breakfast and wanted to wear a tie "like Daddy does" for the special occasion.

Riding a carousel with Mary and Nana

The best parallel between the wood between the worlds and here is that we are certain there is "a very strong sun overhead". We all feel God's protection and provision for us and it feels as warm as it has always been.

When I titled our family blog, Joy In Our Journey, I had no idea at the time just how much "journeying" we would be doing as a family. I thought that the title had spiritual significance for sure but am really taken aback at its literal meaning in our lives. Saturday is moving day. We have been a long way this year and I am feeling the strenuousness of the distance as it draws to a close. This morning, this verse was in the inbox of my email:

This is what the Lord says, ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:16,18,19

I wonder if this verse is prophetic for us this year! I know the God made a way for His people as He brought them into the promised land. I feel in a far less dramatic yet parallel way, He is leading us on. He is changing natural life for us as a family. Who knows where we will be next year? Well, we do know Who knows, but we surely don't! We do know that His provision is perfect and care is secure. Blessings to you all as we ring in 2010!

Merry Christmas 2009!

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

The people who walked in darkness

have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

on them has light shined.

Isaiah 9:6;2

From our home to yours~

May this Christmas bring you to the door of the manger, then the foot of the cross, and finally to the realization of the hope of the resurrection.

A Pictorial Tour of the Childs in Philly

Micah and Andrew attended a Philadelphia Flyers Game in November. I think Andrew's face says Over-stimulation in this picture... Fun outing with Daddy, though.

Micah's parents came up for a visit. We were even able to celebrate Micah's Dad's birthday while they were here- Living so far away doesn't allow us to celebrate birthdays with family very often so we were thankful!

We visited Westminster Theological Seminary (Office Building/Dorms shown above) during their visit and took a very long ride through north Philly into downtown. We drove for hours! I guess 5:00 during a weekday wasn't the best choice for a tour... We even made it down to a famous place where they sell cheese steaks... OUTSIDE! No one was willing to get out of the car and brave the cold for the legendary sandwich.

My parents and siblings visited during Thanksgiving. It was nice to have a full table and a full house for the holiday.

We visited Independence Hall and the surrounding historical district. Another cold Philly day...

This is right out in front of Independence Hall. The boys are pointing like naval commander, Commodore John Barry. If you want to know more about him, there is info here.

The famous signing room. They boys (especially Andrew) were sure there was some mystery we needed to solve there like in National Treasure! I am sure he would have climbed into the bell tower and looked for the secret brick-n-the-wall had we allowed him.

This is the pen stand and ink well used for the signing of the Declaration of Independence, beautifully preserved.

At a neighboring museum, Elijah was excited to see this big painting of George Washington on his horse.

Leave it to Micah to have sons that get excited about a painting of John Adams! They loved seeing pictures of the Presidents they have learned about.

Another Washington statue and two happy boys:)

This was the top of the bell tower at dusk.

There are so many old buildings around Philly. This is one we think is beautiful. It is the William Penn Inn, originally opened in 1714. It has been remodeled since it began, but still is the same hospitable establishment. It truly has lovely Christmas lights.

For you history buffs, you can find more info here.

We ran across the Ambler Theater in a town on the way to the church we have been attending. The building is beautiful. Read more about it here.

These plants are everywhere! I guess it is a cold weather kind of plant and therefore the beautification organism of choice. They look like cabbage to me, especially the white ones and I just want to dig them up and make coleslaw out of them! I have no idea what kind of plant they are, but would love to be informed... so if you are savvy, please share!

I had to throw this one in for fun. What is the north without the snowy winters?

Moving from Philly

I am so thankful our computer is up and running again! I know you all have been waiting expectantly for a new blog:) I had big plans to post a Philly spread. I still do, but our new news seems to trump that one for now.

We found out this past week that Micah is headed to California at the first of next month. This is both exciting and _______ (you fill in the blank and I am sure we are feeling it:)) for us. We knew we would only be in Philadelphia for a short time, but this is shorter than we anticipated. We had been praying that God would give us direction in where He was laying smooth stones for us in the future but we had no idea an answer would come so quickly. What makes the situation kind of sticky is the fact that the assignment is very short term. Even from the beginning of our discussions about what was best for everyone, it was clear to us that the boys and I needed stay for a while in NC, join Micah for part of his time there, but not move officially until he has a long-term position either there or somewhere else. Moving a family of four across the entire country is no small matter. I now feel why God creates families- especially husbands and wives- to cleave together. I am sure over the next two months, I will experience God's wisdom in creating oneness in marriage and hope when we are together again, more deeply appreciate walking through this life day to day with Micah. There are some very good things about the boys and I spending time in NC. They are excited about playing with their cousins (they have 3 plus more extended in the world as of this week!) and spending time with family. We haven't been so close to everyone for such a long period of time- never since the boys have been in the world- so I know this will bring precious opportunities.

Micah is going into a great situation. He will be staying in a beautiful part of California and hopes to be successful in his tasks running a free-standing CFA. It will be a change from his assignment here in PA at a mall store (at CHRISTMASTIME!) but he loves the dynamics of both opportunities.

Please pray for us. We will be moving in two weeks. We all need strength, perseverance, and peace. God is moving us along and we pray He doesn't stop. We would rather be trying to catch our breath and moving in the direction of a long-term position than waiting and wondering what He has for us next. We do know that unless God goes before us, we have no hope in the future. So we trust and pray and move again.

Sustaining Joy

It is easy to write about events in our life and substantially easier to write about exciting news, triumphs, and successes. Much more of real life happens for us in the in-between time; when the days seem a little longer and the road a little less scenic. It is important to me to include blogs like this because this is where we are the majority of the time! It is easy in these times to wonder if anything of any significance is happening anywhere. The past week has felt this way~ We have just kept putting one foot in front of the other. We have felt more significantly that our time here is already fleeting. I think it has been difficult to take full advantage of Philly. It is much larger than any city we've ever lived in and the suburbs more segmented. All the while, much is happening. Micah just completed more tasks on his to-do list for CFA. The boys just grew a centimeter and came to understand a little more about life. Elijah can almost do a cartwheel and Andrew has decided he prefers showers to baths:) By God's grace, I just moved a little closer to more fully internalizing how good He is through some "happenstance (to me)" experience. There is a lot of joy to be found with a right perspective and thankful hearts. We are still so grateful for this opportunity and look for ways to make our time here more than a blip on our family timeline.

One thing about finding joy both in the significant and mundane things in life for me is the temptation to use those to try and maintain sustaining joy. It is weeks like last that proves to me that I must have another plan- or trust God’s plan. Temporal good things while momentarily satisfying are fleeting. I am learning by God’s grace that lasting, persevering joy has to come from somewhere else. If you haven't heard the song C.S. Lewis Song by Brooke Fraser, it is excellent in communicating, as Lewis did, that…

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here.

But as the song eloquently states to balance the truth about our hopeful future- and now I am paraphrasing the lyrics - but while we are here, we are made to live, love, and to know God. Life is but a breath that we must breathe before it vanishes. But we with all creation groan for the hope that is to come.

In thinking on this theme I was recently struck by the lines from Psalm 16:

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.


Joys can be found in life but much of it is difficult, uncertain, and many times seemingly mundane. Although I cannot always see them, the lines are falling for me in pleasant places, are providentially ordered, and provide me with a beautiful inheritance. The culmination of all the promises of God offers among so many other things justice, peace, and rest and in His presence, I will find fullness of joy. It won’t be the kind of joy that ends as soon as I forget to remember a milestone or good gift, but promises to carry me through ordinary days.

Andrew's Big Accomplishment

It's official! Andrew is a reader! The days of spelling words we don't want him to understand are gone~! We are so proud of him and his diligence in learning to read and write.

This is his first book. Look at that happy, literate boy!

Working on his handwriting.

I would have never imagined enjoying homeschooling as much as I have so far. Andrew is learning so many things I don't ever remember learning (due largely to my own laziness). Even in Kindergarten, the emphasis on reading, geography, history, and creative writing I believe will serve Andrew well for the rest of his life. Even his least favorite book, Living Long Ago, recently became one of his favorites when we started learning about Medieval Times and castles. He is still most driven when it comes to math. It is especially good for Eliljah as he watches his big brother persevere in school.

Way to go, Andrew!

More Philly Adventures

It has been since I was a little girl that I lived in a house with a wood-burning fireplace. It is mesmerizing for the boys and such a cozy way to spend the cold evenings. So far, it has even replaced the TV in its entertainment value! We love making smores over the open fire. The boys prefer to do so in their superman jammies, as you can see.

I especially appreciate the fact that burning a fire prevents stink bugs from living in our fireplace, emerging into our house, and chasing Andrew and I around the living room! As a person who is terrified of bugs, I am privileged to be learning so many new extermination techniques. This one is really friendly to the icky bugs. They just see it as an invitation to find a new home. FYI... Their name is a big hint as to the consequence of squashing them. As I have learned, if you do squash a stink bug, it not only creates a foul stench, but the pheromones attract more stink bugs. I am always glad to pass along such potentially helpful information in our blog as the situation permits:)

I think I mentioned before that Micah works in a mall that has a train for the kids to ride. For the bargain price of $3 a kiddo ($5 for two), they can circle the mall in this really cool train that has no need of tracks. There are a couple of times I have been concerned it was going to cause a kiosk casualty, but most people do not seem to mind moving out of the way for the fun-mobile. Micah and I cased the train as best we could, trying not to look like over-protective parents but truly wanting to make sure the boys didn't try to recreate an action scene they had stored away for such a time as this. We never know what they are thinking:)

Today, we visited Tenth Presbyterian Church in downtown Philly. This was so memorable for Micah and me. When we were first married, we used to listen to this church's radio broadcast. Then, the pastor was James Montgomery Boice. After serving this church diligently for many years, he went to be with the Lord in 2000. We were encouraged to hear preaching from the current Senior Pastor, Philip Ryken. He preached from 1 Corinthians 13:5. It was a practical, gospel driven sermon that was true to God's word. He called the congregation to think towards loving unselfishly, putting others before ourselves, as we have been so loved by Christ. The children in the service were equally admonished to do the same in their respective relationships with parents, friends, and siblings. I would have never imagined years ago being on the other side of the radio, sitting in this church with Micah and two boys at my side all being encouraged together. What a blessing to be with God's people in the heart of this city hearing such true, clear truths.

One thing that is different about going to a large church in the middle of a really large city is the parking situation. We had to park several blocks away, but this provided us the opportunity to see firsthand the function of city life.

Andrew was intrigued about living in the middle of such a compact place. Micah and I decided that living on a street like this could be a possibility. I am not so sure we could handle one of those basement, off the street apartments with one-foot windows...

I have no idea why this water is green. I just thought it was cool! It's my favorite color, you know:)

The murals are beautiful adorning the old, brick buildings.

Thanks for sharing our Philly adventure with us! I am sure there is more to come...

Farm Park

One place we recently ran across is Norristown Farm Park. It is a colonial era farm right in the middle of the suburbs. All these pictures are from our time walking along the park trails:

Micah gives the boys a tutorial on how corn grows.

Andrew on the tracks.

A Pine Tree with another tree growing up its side... beautiful!

We see a lot of landmarks dating back pretty far around here. The year 1919 is carved into a small train bridge.

Along the trail... something must have been really interesting to my right.