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We are a family of fifteen: eight already with Jesus and seven in desperate need of Him. This is the story God is writing in our lives. Proverbs 16:9

Sunday, April 22, 2012

In Him

We have had a wonderful few weeks with visitors.  Having extra hands has been a blessing.  I actually slept through a few middle-of-the-night feedings!  Right now, sleep is my love language:) 
Auntie Cara meets the babies.
Aunt Chelsea, Mimi, and Papa
Micah's mom also visited, but we failed to get a picture of her with everyone!  We have so appreciated the help.

Thankfully, Miss Eliana is doing much better taking bottles than when she first came home.  She used to do all manner of things instead of breathe but now, she feeds like a champ.  Isabella and Isaac are effective eaters and that makes the every four hour shift go more smoothly... unless everyone is hungry at the same time.  Then, the big brothers come in... and the boppys. 
The babies continue to graduate from the threats of preemie issues such as Retinopathy of Prematurity.  They saw the Pediatric Opthamologist for the last time for several months and show no signs of damage to their eyes. 

Now that we are on our own with no more live-in help for a while, I have felt some pressure to find some rythym for our family.  God, in His goodness and sovereignty, was so wise to give us these babies at this juncture in our lives.  I know what kind of mother I was when Andrew was born ~ thinking I could do it all "right" for the sake of being a good mother... then feeling guilty of doing it all wrong... then impatient when my baby didn't follow what was "right"... wanting affirmation from others that I had achieved "good mother" status and simultaneously judging other mothers by a standard I couldn't live up to myself... ~  There is a seed of Identity in Christ that had to take root in me before mothering three babies and two big boys at once could even be a thought.  I am trusting God that He will forgive and fill in when my rightness-enthusiasm moves beyond loving my children.  There is freedom in the truth that grounds me in my in-Christ-ness.  For my life is hidden in Him.  It is not about doing it right because Jesus is right.  Does this give me license to do stupid, child damaging things?  Absolutely no!  But having it all together is not the point.  In Christ I am free to vulnerably mother the children I have been given out of a love for my Father and the way He loves me.  This makes days more peaceful and encourages me to enjoy these busy, never-get-it-all-done days.
Thankfully, for you and posterity, Andrew paused to capture this exhausted moment.
This is me at 11 a.m. three days after Micah became debilitated with a bulging disk in his lower back that has affected his sciatic nerve.  Yes, I used soft focus photo editing but I had on no makeup and bed head (I am still a work in progress).  There is beauty even in this... surviving on grace.  All the important things are done and nothing else.  What you do not see in this photo are the hours of tag-team fussing and crying (and I am not just talking about the babies:)) that preceeded this picture and the boys jumping around the couch in their undies.
This is a boy that loves his sister.
The reason the girls will no longer be sharing a bed:)
It has been very difficult for Micah lately.  He is in a lot of pain.  He has been referred to a specialist but we have no idea what kind of treatment he will need for the severity of his diagnosis.  You all have been so good to pray~ and we continue to need it. 


Lara said...

Really just in awe. God is so amazing. Will continue to pray and I know my prayers will be answers as God has brought you so far already!

Janet said...

I can't even imagine how physically, emotionally and spiritually demanding this season of your life is. I appreciate your honesty as you share the challenges you face. You are all in my prayers daily.

Ashley said...

I'm afraid I suffer from the "being a right mother" syndrome. Thanks for sharing that I don't always need to have it all together.
I definitely feel for your husband. I had extreme back/sciatic pain for awhile. Mine was from inflammation in my hip joints so I took NSAIDs and took it easy (and did A LOT of praying) and it eventually went away. Praying for your hubby!