Well, it is mid-June. Our clinic suggested we call them to see if any families had relinquished their rights to their own embryos and made them available for adoption at this time. Honestly, I was very pessimistic. As I previously stated, the clinic had many embryos that had been abandoned and through letters from the staff, had been encouraged to choose to allow them to be given to other families or take responsibility for them themselves. Knowing they could choose to have them destroyed as another option, Micah and I had been praying they would choose life for their little ones but were not sure many would respond that way.
Over the last couple of months, I have enjoyed the healing time. I have been reading a lot~ particularly in the Psalms, adding in C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed and I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. Valley of Vision continues to be a source of weighty truth. It hasn't been the most cheery of book line-ups but indeed a help in pressing in to the call we have been given. Since our little ones now with Jesus don't share Micah's and my DNA, I see their faces in every culturally diverse place I go. I love the smiles of children, especially my own~ shadowing the faces of those sharing eternity with the Son. There has been one question driving my relentless searching and grieving; can I echo Job in saying "Though He slay me (and may slay again), I will hope in Him?" Can I test this one more time? With adoring fear and supernatural fortitude, my answer is, I am His. Please don't hear that as a boasting in my ability to hold myself in His hand, but rather a testimony of His saving grace. Now, the abundance of infinite strength to move forward at all is found only in the One who calls and supplies all our need according to the riches of Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:9).
So today, we met our third and final group of embryos. My initial call had revealed that the clinic had families respond to their letters and they asked that Micah and I come in as soon as possible. I was, at first, shocked and terrified. Then, remembering what I had asked~ that God move in these families' hearts to choose life for their little ones~ I felt humbled by His answer. As I stepped into the clinic I had so desired to run from a few months ago, the Lord again brought Micah and I into His hope. We sat down and were handed choices for our children, once again. There were two families with five remaining embryos. We chose two from one family that had been in storage since 2008. Then there was one remaining embryo from a family frozen back in 2004. I asked our Nurse Practioner if we could please add this one and she did finally agree. Andrew and Elijah now have a sibling conceived in Andrew's birth year that will be younger than the both of them if God has that child to come and live with us:) It is amazing to us how after all this time, God has provided for these babies. It was such a tangible reminder that God never forgets or abandons. He is always working and willing on our behalf. I just pray one day I can share this precious truth with these children! Speaking of the little one frozen for 7 years, we were a bit concerned since the adopting family pays back storage fees, but our clinic staff was so kind and just added the one from 2004 into the mix of the others. Again, we are provided for.
So here we are, hearts bent on loving these frozen ones no matter the cost. We are beginning medication in about a week and if all goes as planned, they will be transferred on July 20. We know that God's plans for them will not be hindered.