The Visible and Invisible

After an almost three hour doctor visit yesterday, we are on the road of preparing for the arrival of these babies! I have never had such a detailed and exhaustive visit with any group of professional medical personnel in my life. We spent a while with a nurse~ going over every physical issue imaginable and making sure I was on the right track health wise and choices wise. Then we had loads of lab work followed by a sit-down, exam, and yet another sit-down with our doctor~ a Perinatologist with over 20 years experience with high-risk pregnancies. To boot, he did his fellowship in Maternal-Fetal Medicine at the University of Chapel Hill (Go Tarheels!). Everything seems to be right on track, for triplets that is, so far. Micah especially "clicked" with the doctor and loved his drive and excitement over wanting to give me the best care possible. We go back in four weeks for another ultrasound and to find out the gender of each of our babies.

There are many things to watch for and wonder about during a triplet pregnancy. There are more things in my medical history that cause some reason for extra caution. I left the doctor's office feeling great about the care we are receiving but overwhelmed at all that lies ahead. I was thankful the doc addressed questions in the "what if..." category and gave me clear answers to the most pressing questions. Answers are always comforting to the planners of the world (I think I may be Chairman of that Board:)). Our major concern is that these babies not be born too early. There is a window of time they could be born and survive but have numerous and substantial problems. We are having to plan ahead already about what to do in case of bed rest and possible hospitalization if that is what these babies need. We are going to need a lot of extra hands over the next several months. We know between all the doctors and nurses, lab and ultrasound techs, receptionists and support staff we will see between now and the first days after these babies are born, as well as family and friends, there will be a lot of hands guiding us on this journey.

I was thinking this morning, going over all the information we received in my head, that as believers in a Sovereign God, there is no possible "what if..." that is out of His plan; no surprises or twists of fate. Knowing myself as I do, having a heavenly perspective beyond my earthly view is a must for times like these. My desire and prayer in an attempt to walk by faith and not by sight through this season is to feel God's Invisible Hand even more so than I feel all the visible ones supporting me over the next months. And thankfully, even when my faith is small and I get bogged down looking at the mountain ahead, God's Hand is not diminished. He being the object of faith bears the weight. And even more intimately, His hands and arms are carrying us along (Isaiah 40:11), close to His heart. I can't imagine a better place to rest in the course of uncertainty.

Overall, these days, I feel so very blessed. God did not have to give us these precious gifts. They are above and beyond what I have ever imagined for our family~ speaking of all those in heaven and on earth. And I know we will never experience anything like what we collectively as a family are experiencing now. It is a unique and exciting time.

Commencement

This past Friday, Micah and I had our very last appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist staff. After three surgeries and three embryo transfers, it was bittersweet to walk in and out of the office for one final hurrah. What grace, though. Arriving as a new patient six years ago, I could have never imagined the kinds of visits that have now succeeded the first. God has used each person there to write His story in our lives.

The very good news~ we did "graduate" to a high-risk OB. It's funny, I thought all my deepest fears in adopting embryos were realized in losing the precious children entrusted to us. I am learning every day that the opportunities to trust the Lord with the lives of our triplets are equally daunting. Taking care of myself as the one carrying these babies is also challenging. It is so easy to get caught up in worry. I ended up desperately writing out truths to keep my thoughts grounded. It is so easy to lose focus and I knew I needed some reminders to bring my mind back to the sphere of truth that governs all things eternally as I deal with daily circumstances. Overall, though, my heart is filled with thankfulness and complete astonishment at what the Lord has done. At this past appointment, we did see each baby again~ hearts beating, arms and legs budding, all around an inch long. The larger they get on the screen, the more of a presence they command. It makes us more and more curious to know what they will look like. I am sure that whatever their appearance, they will remind me clearly of my Father, as do all who bear His image. I am starting to find contemplating the logistics of taking care of three babies as a welcomed challenge; putting my organization skills to the test. I did make my first purchase~ a used triple stroller (yay for craigslist!). I figure if we ever want to leave the house, this is a must! We have started compiling a list of names for these three. Coming up with six names will be quite a challenge! Elijah has tried to make it easier for us, suggesting items he sees in the pantry. "Can of Green Beans" and "Fudge Round" top his list:) Andrew has tried to make suggestions but just finds himself cracking up at Elijah's contributions.

As seasons change, our season changes. Last fall, we started this journey. What a year it has been.