Beautiful at Any Stage

I never, no never--- imagined having three 1s at once.

There is an initiation process into the training years.  It all starts about the time babies decide they can and shall have their own opinions.   Opinions arrive like baby teeth, except without warning and there is no pharmaceutical (or natural for that matter) remedy.

It all started here one day when, during a diaper change, the soiled party decides that he or she doesn't want to lie still.  He or she tries to roll away doing a full-body-leg-over-bowed-back thing while screaming in disapproval and then finally --- the big finish--- sticks his or her hand in the offended part of the diaper.  And then the next in line follows suit.  Then the next.

Then there is mealtime.  After chopping enough bite-sized food for three and dishing it up, each baby moves to dropping it on the floor... because it just looks so nice down there:)  And then they scream when they realize there is no more food left to eat on the table.  Have I mentioned that these babies can eat!?!  Oh my.  They love to eat.  When they are finished inhaling everything in sight, any food remnants are stuck to various parts of their bodies.  So I clean each baby.  And then the floor.  And the highchairs.  Three times a day.

Then they play--- or more like they move around the play yard in a herd after the exact same toy.  Next, someone gets stepped on (more about that in a minute), while another gets whacked in the head by some educational, plastic object.  At this point, they all take a vote and decide collectively that play yard time is over, stand at the edge, and scream.  One guy even tries to climb out.  Settling a full-blown, triplet tantrum is sometimes like trying to get three cats to take a bath in a whirlpool.

Just in case you are concerned, I am not new to all of this.  I know how to teach baby signs, discern childishness verses foolishness, and kindly give a cue when faced with unacceptable behavior.  This stage is fairly straight forward.  Knowing what I know from first hand experience about future stages makes "Stop" and "No touch" seem pretty simple.  The thing that is the kicker is that I now am doing it three times more than I am used to.  It is quite taxing.

But it isn't always like this.  When I take a break and sit in the floor with them, they one by one, pull up to my face and tell me something they think is completely fascinating.  It may be a syllable or even part of a word.  Sometimes it is "MaMa" which makes me melt.  The cherry on top is that they all have begun laying their little heads on my lap or shoulder with an audible sigh.

They also copy each others' movements, clap, high-five, and wave.  They give the sweetest kisses, even though it looks more like they might want to bite more than kiss.  They all pull up on everything, stand strong, and dance when they hear music.  Eliana says, "Baaaaay-beh!" (as in Chantilly Lace by The Big Bopper).

And yes, Isaac is walking around like he has been doing it his whole life.  He giggles when he makes it a couple of feet and makes himself fall down.

Then there is nap time.  They are the best sleepers I have ever known.  And I absolutely love walking into their room after a nap and see each smiling face peering over the side of each crib.

There are the moments I allow myself to look at them and think, "Just two years ago, you were frozen... in a straw... in a lab."

There are a lot of things I don't know about mothering three littles and two big boys at these stages.  There are many things I am learning.  But one thing I do know, I want the babies and their big brothers to come to me as Mommy with hands spackled with smashed peas, ready with slobbery kisses, sweet smiles, tantrums, and all.  They all ~every day~ show me tangibly what it means to be made in the image of God and very much in need of Him.  Then I am reminded that they are a picture of how I am as I move toward Jesus as He bids me come.  And it is beautiful.

Spring Speaks LIFE to Me

Long branches despairing
Earth firm and unyielding
Colors surrender to sleep.
Landscapes barren
Shuddering cold prevailing
Frost silently dusts the plain.

My soul cries, "Death!
Have you overcome?
Why the visible agony?
All that was made
In Garden's glorious first days
Not purposed for more than this?"

More than is clear
Profound metaphors taught
Intentions Good and Wholly Pure.
Respite seen and unseen
In a thematic display
Illumining a marvelous mystery.

Oh body descending
Into grave unending
A deserved, consequential lot.
Failing at law
A hopeless cause
Awareness hidden by blindness inborn.

Dawn of Life, Emblazoned Son
Sacred, pursuing Love
Moves to call death to death.
Wrath stored, then out poured
Culmination of salvific prophecy
Source of all redeeming all to the end.

Worked in fabric of season
No seedling forgotten
Bountiful palette of eternity.
Called from eternity past
The branch and bud vivid and changing
Flourishing in His company.

Declarations

I have no idea how this began, but the boys--- at first it was Andrew--- started declaring things around the house.  Come to think of it, I am pretty sure it was a past grammar lesson.  We studied what a declarative sentences are and how they function.  Since then, they have been practiced and rehearsed for fun within the rhythm of ordinary days.  My favorite declaration is the most simple.  Andrew says, "I declare that Eliana is a............ Baby!"  And with great joy and delight, Eliana smiles and claps her little hands and Elijah chasse's around her with great rejoicing.  Then Andrew, the speaker, and Elijah, the entertainer, proceed to the other babies, each time giving the same amount of fanfare to their baby-ness.

Having something declared of a person that is so clearly obvious isn't so compelling, unless preformed by the cutest kiddos on earth;).  I know it sounds silly, but the babies love it.  Then we move on to other self-evident things, like green grass and stinky diapers.  

That's about all I as a human being--- one who was made, not the Maker--- can do.  I observe, perceive, and verbalize existing truths.  

In contrast, there are declarations of those who believe the words of Yahweh God that are exceptionally different.  Those once alienated from God are elevated to a far surpassing, otherwise impossible position.  I cannot imagine making it through some days without His declarations.  Call it good theology, I feel and receive them throughout the day as constant mercies.  Goodness knows there is enough that is subjective to decipher.  My need for objectivity is paramount.   Time and circumstances do not change objective, God-breathed truth.  The extent to which I engage truth in faith and understanding doesn't change it either.  The truth about truth ensures real, outside-of-myself comfort.

I believe.  Lord, help my unbelief.  

Here are some of my favorites from the New Testament:

Jesus says ~ I am the good shepherd.  The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.  My Father, who has given them to me, is greater them all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

For our sake He made Him be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-- by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from you Father.  But even the hairs on your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. 

What are your favorites?

LEGO Expo

I would love to share some pictures from our day together enjoying the little blocks that have given our boys hours of fun and outlets for creativity over the years.

Our Greeter

"Hulk Smash!"  Elijah says

Buried in Legos

Andrew added this...

... to this.  Andrew really enjoyed being a part of something bigger than the piece he created.

Saving the Galaxy with Daddy

At Bilbo's Hobbit Hole

The SpeedOrz Area ~ Elijah said this was his favorite part of the day.

Other people just rode around...

And at the end of the day, one little guy crashed.

Joy Is...

Bella Language

 

 

 Trying on New Suits

 

 

Visiting the Nurse that Took Care of Us in Cincinnati

 

 

No Socks

 

 

 Funny Faces

 

 

 Super UK Man being raised by a Blue Devil and a Tarheel

 

Almost Walking!

 



Notes at the Top of Math Homework

 

 

Daddy's Arms

 

 

 Brother's Hugs

 

 

 Blacklight Bowling with Babies

 

 

Scrambled Eggs

 
 



Walking While the Kiddos Ride

 

 

 Being Surrounded by Sweet Faces

 

 

 Ellie Up Past Bedtime

Writing About Speaking

I had the opportunity last Saturday to speak to a group of women about stewardship.  Boy--  it was a humbling experience.  First of all, I don't think I would have chosen this topic for myself.  It is difficult to talk about money and address a group with different perspectives and circumstances on the subject. One unifying factor though, they (like me at one time) have husbands in school.  Then I try to add our cultural context.  It can be quite a complex subject.  Jesus sure talked about it a lot and always had a very pointed purpose. It was good for me to spend focused time in the Bible, particularly at feet of Jesus, allowing the words to read me and my heart in the way I view God's provisions in money and resources.

It was a challenge though, and I was more than a bit nervous about it.  Then I realized why this whole thing was so intimidating.  You see, I love writing.  Truly, I do.  And one of the reasons I love it so very much is because of one word.  Editing.  My mouth has gotten me in more trouble over the years and when you write, you can first emit the most glorious word vomit and then proceed, over the course of a few days, to clean it all up.



The line above used to be inhabited by incoherent, undeveloped phrases that you don't need to see and so I erased them:)  Beautiful, huh?!?!

And when you speak to a group about anything--- and it is recorded--- there is not always the opportunity to use this remarkable tool.  Again, such a humbling experience.  I left having been given an invaluable, historic perspective from which to draw when I desire to hear from others what is being said despite imperfect speech. 

I wanted to be practical and offer advice I had learned through years of budgeting and grocery shopping as well as highlight copious, biblical wisdom.  However, I think the most important thing in teaching about anything is that serves a larger purpose.  And that was really the point of what I most wanted to say.  I was so concerned that the ladies didn't hear another spiritual to do list but instead, heard the gospel of "man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word from the mouth of God."  I spent two days afterward agonizing over what I said and didn't say.  It made me completely crazy. 

Then it hit me.  The thing I wanted to communicate most of all was the very thing I was neglecting.  I was requiring a perfection from myself that just isn't attainable.  As I told the ladies, when Jesus was here He not only knew all but did all that was always right. He was Perfection Personified.  This Good News meets even a stumbling conference speaker who trusts Him ~ and His grace covers over all her deficits. He can be trusted with the hearts of the women with whom I was honored to spend time as well. As I pray for each of them and for myself, God promises to hear the repentance and the praise.  What wonderful mercy--- revealed by the Spirit that arrests my failing in the way of my own righteousness.

Peace!

It seems Isaac and Isabella have learned to scream bloody murder at the top of their lungs.  I know this because right now, in the other room, that is precisely what they are doing.  I am certain it is because something hasn't gone their way inside the play gate.  Meanwhile, Eliana is beating a drum with a guitar that makes beeping noises.  On top of the screeching, beeping, and booming, Andrew and Elijah are sword fighting with something other than swords and the "Ah-ha"s! and pounces are booming through the house.  The hardwood floors make the sounds vibrate and twirl through the air and land on my my tired ears.  My night of inadequate rest is taunting me.

My first thought, "Peace!!! Be still!" (be aware that peace is the loudest and most angry thing I thought- and was louder than my five combined).

Then I remember, I am not Jesus ~  Hello.  It does not work this way.

There is still power in His words though.  Something quite different than what I had desired to happen occurs.  He does speak peace--- but it is directed at my soul. 

Why am I so angry?  It is because I have made peace into an idol.  I want it more than anything right now, especially more than allowing my children to be children in this moment.  I am also dreading having to try to communicate in a developmentally appropriate way "no stealing" to my one-year-olds and then get the boys back to their schoolwork.  Being a gal that has the law of God written on my heart, I know that idols are bad.  To make matters worse, this isn't my first idolatry offense.  The conviction is painfully beautiful.     

There is also this bit of mommy-forward-thinking that knows there will be a day when I will miss these noises.  Just yesterday, I was thinking about writing about all the milestones the babies are reaching and how very much they are growing into more independent little people.  I easily take for granted that I have a safe place for them to learn, grow, and play and that I can be with them in the process.  Being a mommy is such a blessing and that heaps guilt on top of the conviction. 

I recently attended a conference with speaker Elyse Fitzpatrick.  My favorite part of the entire presentation was her exposition of the life of Christ and the way He lived to fulfill the Law through his time on earth.  This morning, her words remind me that He never desired peace wrongly.  He beckoned children to come to Him (even the noisier ones). He always accepted His Father's will and never felt guilt for taking anything for granted.  Even when He was mocked and abused, He kept His composure most perfectly, loving His enemies along the way. 

The truth is, Jesus is Peace and I am His. He has made peace with God on my behalf.  And don't I need it.  I have been loved, so now I am free to love.  To the praise of His glorious grace!

To the Ship!

It was time again for the Chick-fil-a Operators Seminar.  Micah and I missed last year for obvious reasons but were so glad everyone was recovered enough from illness for us to go last week.  This year, it was held at sea!  Micah and I flew to Ft. Lauderdale then cruised to Nassau, Bahamas and back with 4000+ of our closest CFA friends. 

Right before Micah and I left, I spent hours cleaning and organizing our home.  After spending one week at the hospital, then hosting an open house for the babies' birthdays, and enduring the tornado of one normal week, everything was a mess.  The more I worked and the closer I moved toward the ick, the more ick I saw.  I particularly hate cleaning the shower... which I hadn't touched in weeks... maybe months...  My aunt and I talk about it all the time~ how you need to be an acrobat to really get it clean.  She and I both agree that scrubbing the toilet is substantially preferable over the shower anyday.  Then, I happened to glance at the blinds.  There are 9 plantation style blinds in the downstairs that I know I have never cleaned... and I don't think anyone else had ever either.  I know, I know, that isn't necessarily a priority when going out of town, but sometimes I just want to clean something and it stay clean for more than ten minutes.  Blinds have a better chance than my floors or other surfaces.   

Then there was the mess of organizing stuff for a week away with others living inside my house.  It was a labor of love but indeed, messy.  Homeschool lesson plans for the boys, info sheets and schedule for the babies, medical release forms in case of an emergency, food for, well, everybody, I desired to be left in a way that made grandparents' time with our lovelys as enjoyable as possible from my end of things. 

With all of that finally accomplished plus packing for myself, it was good to be on the road with a sunny destination in mind last Saturday.  We made it to the airport just in time thanks to a last minute Target run (there are just always things we need at Target:)).

Catching my breath while suspended over the earth at 25,000 to 35,000 feet, moving away from the mess made a significant impression on me.  As we flew down south, I watched out the window at the way the earth looked from such a distance: organized, neat, tidy, slow moving, it wasn't long before I wondered, why in the world did God come near?  Why Emmanuel?  The closer I am, the more mess is revealed.  I knew what I had left inside my home, much like the ones I saw from a distance.  From 25,000 feet, everyone's blinds are clean! 

The deeper I move into my heart, the more sin I see.  The grout of my heart is revealed, and it is not pretty and white. I would like to say the older I get, the better I get.  The only thing for which I am surely getting better is seeing my great need for Jesus and His perfect righteousness.  I may have said that here before, but it is a truth to be repeated.  

We boarded the ship and moved away from land.  When all concrete, wood, sand, and sod was out of sight, I looked at the view of the ocean from our stateroom.  In that moment, I remembered these words penned by William Rees:

Here is love

vast as the ocean

Loving kindness as the flood

When the Prince of Life, our Ransom

Shed for us His precious blood

 

God does see the filthy grout of my being and the dirt of my earthly facade, but was moved to descend into the mess in love.  The word "vast" used above to describe this love took on a different meaning when used as an adjective for something so seemingly immeasurable all around our floating mini-city.  The weight of the concept was visual and overwhelming and I pray, not soon forgotten.  I need these object lessons now and again.   

 

It was a wonderful trip.  Micah and I enjoyed our time together and with friends.  We also enjoyed seeing a part of the world we had never visited.  The water in the Bahamas is just the most dazzeling teal blue and crystal clear.  It was refreshing in many ways for the both of us.  

Aboard the Allure of the Sea

 

Our view from a double hammock on Blue Lagoon Island

 

I think everyone back in KY had a good time as well.  I pray it will be well remembered as sweet Papa, Mimi, Abba, and Nana time for our children.  Until next year...

 

 

 

(There are no pictures of Mimi and Nana... because they were the photographers!)

 

 

~

 

Let us all His love accepting
Love Him ever all our days
Let us seek His Kingdom only
And our lives be to His praise
He alone shall be our glory
Nothing in the world we see
He has cleansed and sanctified us
He Himself has set us free

 

Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten
Throughout Heaven’s eternal days

     

Birthday Babies

*A big thank you to our friend, Brad, for taking these pictures of Isaac, Eliana, and Isabella at their First Birthday Open House.