No Time to Write Today... Here's Why :)

Last Baby Home

4 a.m.

Walks with the Boys

Bottles Everywhere

Not Monday...

As you all were reading last night's post, I was at the hospital with Eliana giving her a bath and a feeding.  After the bath, she seemed very tired and seemed disinterested in taking her bottle.  During the feeding, she had three bradycardia episodes.  She (as well as Isabella and Isaac) had more of these a few weeks back but she had stopped.  At this point with coming home in sight, these episodes earn her more days in the hospital.  We have such mixed feelings:  We want her home so badly but want her to be physically ready to be home.   

I just called her day nurse and she has had two more episodes during feedings today.  Please pray that she grows out of these soon.  Thankfully her oxygen levels are still ok.  More than anything, I pray that God will hold her when I cannot.  And if you will, remember me~  my heart is not well torn between where she is now and home.

Eliana Update Etc.

Eliana has been off oxygen for over 24 hours!  Her nurse has been determined to get her off and didn't want the lack of stuff taped to her face to play a role.  All during the day, she removed parts of the nasal cannula instead of the whole thing at once.  It was a pretty funny sight seeing Eliana with partial tubing on her face.  The doctor gave me his report this morning and thinks she may come home as early as Monday if she continues to do well over the next two days.  She is also still gaining weight very well.  Last night she was 4 pounds, 2.4 ounces!  Thank you all for praying! 

Eliana looking like a Pop Star with a face mic

If today is a precursor to days to come, I am going to need a lot more coffee, energy, and a full-time personal assistant:)  As I sit here typing with multiple things done/undone, babies to feed, questions floating around my head (When is the next eye exam appointment for the babies?~ There are more appointments this week... when are they???  Where is the calendar???  Where did I put my coffee cup???  I need to get a few things at the store:  I know I wrote a list somewhere???  Did I eat lunch???  Did I brush my teeth today???  Have Andrew and Elijah been fed???  Someone emailed me today... or was that a text... or a facebook message???) I feel tired... but I feel thankful.  It may have taken me 40 minutes from "Let's Go!" to the point of pulling out of the parking lot today just to run a few things to Goodwill... There may be 40 bottles to wash next to the sink in the kitchen...  There may be only a 2.5 hour max sleep stretch in my future but it is all good.  It has never been more fun to feel so scattered:)

Elijah's face says it all:)

Update:  My coffee cup was in the microwave...  where I left it after re-heating it three times.

Special Request for Eliana

First the good news:

Miss Eliana is getting to be such a big girl~  She weighed 4 lbs. 1 oz. tonight!  She can take a bottle in just a few minutes and has a more mature than her age suck, swallow, breathe ability.  She is in the nursery with healthy babies and is looking cuter and cuter in preemie clothes. 

However, she has been unable to come off of oxygen to this point.  Right now she is only on 0.1 liter, which is the smallest amount she can be on without turning it off completely.  Every other day, the doctor is giving her a "room air challenge" where she is taken off and monitored closely.  Yesterday, she only lasted an hour without it before her oxygen level went down and stayed down below normal.  Tomorrow morning she will be tested again.

Our request is this:

Please pray that she is able to maintain her oxygen level without assistance and without an increase in her respirations. 

There have been goals set for her coming home and she has accomplished most them.  She is now in a big girl crib (maintaining her body temperature), taking all feedings well by mouth, and gaining weight every day.  She has also stopped having as many episodes where her heart rate drops and then she self-recovers.  Overall, she is a healthy, beautiful, growing baby.  Getting her off oxygen is the last goal.  If she isn't able to come off by the time she is 37 weeks, there is a possibility that she will come home with oxygen assistance.  I have mixed feelings about this~  On one hand, I can rest assured that she will have what she needs.  She will also come home with a monitor to track her levels.  While the monitor can give some peace of mind, it can also cause unnecessary anxiety.  On the other hand, I so desire for her little body to be strong enough without assistance.  I know this is another opportunity for me to trust God with Eliana and seek His help of her behalf.  He has taken such special, kind care of her~ I know He is able to do the same in this area. 

So please pray with us for her and again, we know God will hear.

Two More At Home

I remember being told that the NICU journey is a long one... until the very end.  Then, all of the sudden, babies will be ready to be discharged.  This was the case for Isabella.  Last weekend, she decided she wanted her feeding tube out and proceeded to remove it herself.  She has done this before, but this time, her nurses decided to begin giving her all bottles.  Needless to say, she had no problem taking all her feedings by mouth!  Since she also has been able to hold her body temperature, gain weight every day for several days, and grow out of her episodes (dropping her oxygen or heart rate with need of stimulation to regain normal levels), the doctors decided to send her home.  Tuesday, we had her in the van, heading for home.  She acted so natural on the ride and has adapted to life at our home very easily. 
 
Yesterday, we were so thankful that Isaac had also reached his get out of the NICU milestones and came home also!  He is now over 5 pounds.  I laid Isabella next to him when we brought him inside and she spent a few minutes showing him the ropes.  I don't think he was interested at the time, though:)  Thankfully, both babies are used to some noise (the NICU and CCN were sometimes like  Grand Central Station!) so they are getting along with their big brothers well. 

And last but certainly not least, 3 pound, 9 oz. Eliana heard a rumor that her siblings were leaving her and decided to take all her bottles by mouth.  Wednesday, I saw her sweet face for the first time without any tubes or tape.  By the afternoon, though, she was having trouble maintaining her oxygen levels again and needed to be put back on oxygen.  Really, she is just getting a flow of room air to help her lungs stay open.  She is already doing much better.  We will be thankful when she is big enough to maintain her body temperature and come out of her isolette.  It was so difficult leaving her at the hospital when we left with Isaac.  The overflow of emotions was overwhelming~ seeing my other babies' cribs empty in the back of the CCN and Eliana left there alone.  We pray she is able to come home soon and be with us.  It just isn't the same at home without her.

We have had peaceful first days with Isabella and Isaac.  Micah and I have seen a huge change in Andrew and Elijah.  They are so glad to feel more a part of the babies lives.  They are both so sweet to them~  And I have enjoyed watching them study the babies and speak sweetly to them.

As if that isn't enough going on in our lives, Micah and I celebrated our 14th Wedding Anniversary also on Wednesday.  When we married in 1998, we were 18 and 19 years old.  I wonder what we would have thought had we been told what God had in store for our lives 14 years down the road.  I couldn't imagine walking this road without him. 

Memory is powerful~  Micah recently played an album for me to listen to in the kitchen and immediately, a thought came to mind.  I can easily recall standing in our bathroom at Mallard Crossing and singing I Expect Great Things by Christine Dente days after our first embryo transfer well over a year ago.  I also remember days struggling to sing the words~ not necessarily disbelieving them, but feeling upside down in sadness~ when our adoption path was pain.  As I watch my babies sleep today and think of Eliana resting peacefully, sit next to my boys here on the couch, and kiss my husband hello, I can't help but actively feel faith increase.  Then on a complete literal, humorous note, I thought about the second verse in particular and the gift of our Isabella Joy.  Who knew our "Joy" unseen?  And there is more joy to be found.  God has been so good to us~  And we do not deserve His great goodness.  When it is so evident, we cannot move or breathe without testifying to its truth. 

I expect great things of God

For God He is so great

He can do what we cannot

I expect great things of God

I hope for joy unseen

And hope wont disappoint

Faith is sure of what will be

So I hope for joy unseen

I wait for glory days

When every voice will praise

The name above amazing love

So I wait for glory

I hope for joy

I expect great things of God

Voyage, Christine Dente

inspired by Valley of Vision:  A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Pics Courtesy of The March of Dimes

The March of Dimes sponsored a picture day in the NICU of parents interacting with their baby (or in our case, babies).  The photographer was a former parent of a preemie.  It was such a blessing!  The most unfortunate thing was that Andrew and Elijah were unable to join us because our hospital nurseries are closed to siblings due to RSV season.  We look forward to the day our big boys are included.  Enjoy!

Isaac

Eliana

Isabella

Sharing the Love

Prayers for Everyone~ Especially Eliana

So much of life is waiting...  and wondering... and learning to look into the face of Jesus and trust Him, even though everything around us distracts and misleads.  Even when I might doubt His very nature when circumstances are difficult, faith is entrusted as a gift to give me eyes to see His goodness and mercy.  God is for us, not against us.  And God is certainly for these babies and for equipping our family to love them. 

It is been a difficult couple of days.  Our babies have not had many of the anticipated challenges of prematurity as they have spent almost three weeks in the NICU.  Isabella and Isaac continue to amaze us with their growth and now their ability to take bottles before their little brains have the suck, swallow, breathe mechanism in place.  They are both on their way to being 5 pounds.

Isabella

 

Isaac

Eliana has been such a fighter.  God blessed her with strength that helped her make up for the lack of blood supply in the womb and now her lack of size since she has been out.  Monday evening though, Eliana started having trouble keeping her oxygen level up.  Her level would fall and then in response, her respirations would increase.  It was a circular problem~  Tuesday morning after hours of difficulty, the doctor confirmed a low hemoglobin and decided to give her a blood transfusion.  This was something we had anticipated as a possibility since the time the babies were born.  However, Wednesday morning when things should have been getting better, she had not improved that much.  By last night, she was still struggling and the doctor on call did a multitude of tests to rule out something more serious like infection or ineffective breathing.  In short, every test has come back negative.  She shows absolutely no sign of infection and her blood tests show that her body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do.  She was put on oxygen but despite higher levels, she still didn't relax in decreasing her respirations.  This morning, I finally had a clear conversation with one of her docs that finally explained why she is struggling.  He said it is like she has been running a marathon since birth~ one that her little body isn't equipped for.  As of now, she is tired and is reminding us that although she has done so well to this point, she is still a preemie baby and needs help for a bit.  All that she is capable of right now are shallow, quick breaths.

Eliana

Today, I went to be with all the babies for a while.  I was so thankful to see that after several hours of oxygen, her respirations have decreased.  Even last night while the numbers on her monitor were wavering, I spent time talking to her and was encouraged by her gummy smile.  She was moving around as if nothing was really bothering her.  She kept trying to put the IV port on her hand in her mouth and instead kept whacking herself in the nose!  She has the biggest eyes and as she looks right into mine, I am reminded of all the Lord has brought her~ as well as Isabella and Isaac~ through.  Did I also mention that she is now 3 pounds!  She hit that milestone yesterday as well.  We pray that she will regain the strength she needs to get back to maintaining her oxygen very soon. 

Please continue to pray for our little ones and our big ones.  Andrew and Elijah are ready for life to be more settled and Micah and I totally understand.  It has been trying going back and forth to the hospital.  It is odd; feeling more at home in a hospital waiting room than at our residence because it is where we are all the closest to each other.  I keep praying for patience as our babies grow and bring us closer to the day when we are all home together as a family.  Thank you, reader, for continuing to follow us and share in our lives.  

Pictures from the Last Two Days

Sweet babies together

Eliana resting her head on Isabella

Isaac saying "No more pictures, Mom!"

First time holding all three babies in two weeks

Second Week in the NICU

Words like "your babies are doing fantastic" and "they are progressing so well" soothe our souls and bring us to our knees in thanksgiving.  These are comments that Isaac, Eliana, and Isabella's doctors have made to us over the past few days.  They are definitely issues consistent with prematurity, but we are constantly overjoyed at the way God has blessed each of them and in turn, blessed us. 

Much to our surprise, we got a call Saturday morning that our babies were being moved from the NICU to the Continuing Care Nursery. There were several admissions and our babies were the first candidates to be moved since they were in the best health of all their neighbors (insert gasp here:)). The next day, the doctor reported that they were indeed having their PICC lines (IV's) removed.  Since then, every one's jaundice has been resolved and growing and feeding have been the goals of each day.  This means the number of things they are attached to has gone down even more. Isabella and Isaac have been working on maintaining their body temperatures and last night, Isaac weighing in at 3 lbs., 15.2 oz. was moved from his isolette to an open bed!  It is hard to imagine that only a week ago, he was on a ventilator. 

Isaac in His Open Bed

I think he was trying to tell us he was tired of all the picture taking:)

He and Isabella, weighing 4lbs., spend their days in cute little preemie clothes.  Isabella is well on her way to an open bed as well.  She is such a cuddler, but likes to try and escape her Z-Flow bed and pull her NG tube out. 

Micah and his Bella Joy.

Sleeping Beauty

Eliana is gaining weight well.  She now is above her birth weight at 2 lbs., 8 oz. and remains developmentally on track despite her small, yet big for what she has endured, size.  She is still feisty, but always relaxes when we do kangaroo care time.

I think she was trying to tell us something!  I love the look on her face.

Tiny hands~ but formed perfectly.

Andrew and Elijah returned home on Saturday as well.  It was a big day for us!  The nurse helped us wrap the babies up and let the boys see them through the CCN window.  I am so glad they had a good trip to NC, but I am also so glad they are home.  I have been able to do all the things I love~ like sit at the breakfast table with them and make Rice Crispy Treats.  Having my parents here for the weekend and my mom staying throughout this week has been such a blessing for them and for me.  It was so sweet to introduce Papa and Mimi to their three new grandchildren.

 

The Big Brothers

Mimi and Eliana

Papa with Isaac

Micah and I have enjoyed getting to know each baby.  Their personalities are coming through more and more every day.  We wonder how Andrew and Elijah are going to interact with them when they come home.  Adjusting to having five children with different needs brings us to a familiar place~ relying on God to encourage us in the gospel and bringing us the perserverance we need to love on each child.  We never stop carrying each one to Jesus for his or her particular needs.  We are juggling~ and it is wonderfully exhausting. 

Micah and Me tag-teaming the babies.

Our prayer requests are that we would continue to have the endurance we need for each day.  The girls have had some bradycardia episodes and most of the time they self-correct.  We do pray they grow out of these soon and maintiain their heartrates consistantly.  Thankfully, they have no apnea at this point.  They all are having some reflux and we also pray that resolves.  Overall, they are healthy babies, which brings me to my last request.  All around us, we have seen much sicker babies and families struggling watching their tiny ones fight for life in the NICU.  I ask that you take time to pray for all of them.  We pray God brings them peace and comfort in the midst of such excrutiating difficulty.

Growing Babies!

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Psalm 30:11-12

Yesterday, Micah and I danced home from the hospital.  We had such a cared for experience there but were so glad to get home.  Even though it was difficult to leave, there was much to be thankful for~ and the babies couldn't be in better hands.   


Our Nurses Were So Kind:)

It was odd though, our house quiet... each of our five children somewhere else.   It has been a long time since I felt freedom to move and make plans and enjoy the outside!  It feels like the whole world has changed~  Or at least from my perspective for sure. It has taken a bit to let it sink in~ where we have been and what the Lord has done.

God continues to breathe vigorous life into our babies.  Isaac was taken off the ventilator yesterday with no problem.  His nurse also removed an arterial line he had in his belly which made it possible for me to hold him for the first time.  That was also the first time I got to really see his face without tubes occluding his little smile!  He is a cutie with blond hair!

My First Time Holding Isaac

Sweet Boy, Isaac

He squeaks some (reminding me of Andrew as a baby:)) and loves to cuddle.  The doctor is also planning to take him off forced oxygen (room air) through his nasal cannula in the next day.  Isabella and Eliana are also thriving.  They are all three tolerating feedings into their bellies well.  The doctors are increasing the amount they receive every day.  Eliana has already grown up to and past her birth weight and now is at 2 lbs. 5 oz. and Isaac and Isabella are both at 3 lbs. 9 oz..  Since they are getting more than half of what they need from feedings, they each may get to have their PICC lines removed in the next two days.  They have also had brain scans and echo cardiograms and nothing significant has been found thus far.  The babies are progressing so well~ Micah and I did not anticipate such great reports!  It is making me realize that I need to get ready to bring them home even more quickly than we thought!


Daddy and His Eliana Girl



A Cuddly Bella Joy and Mommy Late Last Night


We have had such a wondreful time talking about embryo adoption with the hospital staff.  We think about where these babies were only months ago, frozen in the same building where they now grin and move, bodies warm and fresh and are amazed. 

I spoke with Andrew and Elijah this morning.  They are excited about coming home and the possiblity of the babies coming home in the next few weeks.  Elijah asked if I was able to be up and around which he refers to as "crazy mommy" again!  By God's grace, yes I sure can.